Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Slow Down or Lose Ground

Growing up, I relished the feeling of being part of a well-run group, whether it be the choir, or the members of the family who were leaving the house early enough to "get there" on time. Without the imposed structure of school, college, career constraints, or even my direct sales hobby, I soon found myself floundering as  a new mom. Implementing established ways of "doing life" changed that, but as new habits were cementing, I found a slight "problem" emerging.

My husband was used to the old me, and my boy was tiny, so all he knows is what I train him! I began to be frustrated with my husband's "not coloring inside the lines," as it were. My thoughts of course, were absurd, as he had not been going through the intense study that I had, and I couldn't expect him to learn the same stuff by osmosis, in spite of the lovely changes in our life!

Partway through my (now intentional and conscious) organizing journey, we went to a family gathering and had a blast. At departure time, I began marching around gathering our things, purposefully and determinedly "reminding" my husband of our next day's obligations with nothing more than glares, and not asking many of the fully capable (and willing) family members for assistance. As I carried a large, rather heavy dish still full of food in front of me, I didn't see my then one-year-old walk right in front of me. He was so close that I bumped him mid-step, and literally hopped over him to avoid hurting him, and flinging the food across the room. As a result, I sustained a knee injury which slowed me down considerably for THREE MONTHS!

For the past month, we have been having our car in and out of the shop (yes it is in the shop again!), yet (inexplicably) more seems to be getting done.  If you read my last post about our huge reorganizing project, you will know that slowing down and having to stay at home more is helping us get more done! That project is still underway, and things are gloriously "misarranged" around the house as we progress toward our goal. (I do have to mention with chagrin that we did spend money on some furniture to complete the project.)

I realize as well the stark contrast in "discussions" between me and my husband then and now. Whereas in the past I felt it necessary to melt down in order to get my point across about the way I desire things to be in our home, I find we now have  a productive two-way conversation, and I have gained the ability to make a case for things I feel are important and (most of the time) leave emotion out of the equation.

I have found that getting all bent out of shape when things "go wrong" can actually make you lose ground, while slowing down mentally can enhance how much you get done. Did I mention that I have been sick this week, and that I do a better job keeping things running smoothly around the house than I did "before?"

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