When Your Car Dies on Your Anniversary

Smart moms know that "murphy's law" is not so much about things going wrong at the wrong time as it is about life simply being the way it is! You know the saying about making lemonade when life gives you lemons? I am happy to say that I made lemonade today, in more ways than one! (Yes, I had lemons which were on the verge of getting yucky, so I did make lemonade.)

It's our anniversary, and our car is in the shop for the second time in a week's time! AND, we are a one-car family! Hey, you know what, I had a full fridge going into this, and we hadn't made reservations for anything for our anniversary, so my husband and I are making the best of it, with (drum roll) a huge organizing project!

My Pantry Office 

Since we moved here, I have not had a bona fide office space that really worked for us. I started in the bedroom with a small desk, which was a fiasco (hint, hint!) and have had my "control central" sort of spread out over the kitchen, dining, and living space for MONTHS now! It is MUCH more efficient than before, but I have been wanting to create room for a hidden standing space office for the longest time, and we are moving toward that this weekend with this project! We are not spending any money on this either.

So far, we have moved  a love seat from the living room and the small desk I previously used in the bedroom into my husband's office. We will be adding our television, to convert his office into a media room, and adding books/shelves which have been on standby in the garage for far too long!

Out of his office will come a shelf and a file cabinet, to create some standing office space for me in a closet under our steps! (That closet is in need of heavy de-cluttering first!)

Boxes from the Closet

In our son's room, we removed his toddler bed, and replaced it with half of an Ikea couch, making it up sort of like a daybed. He LOVES it. As soon as I installed it, he laid down and took a nap. (I relaxed, too, yeah!!!) We also removed his train table, and a bunch of toys from his room, as his birthday is coming along in a couple of weeks, and we need room for his new things. (Ahem, HINT!)

My Son's Room During

Can you tell how excited I am about this organizing project? I even made an amateur video and took a few snapshots of the progress! Go to my Facebook page and click on the you tube icon to see the video, or go straight to my youtube channel, establishedways to see the video! Let me know if you have any thoughts or ideas!

My Son's Room After His Nap!

Organize Your Kitchen Without Breaking the Bank!

This is the first installment of a new series on Established Ways, which I am very excited to present!

Starting with the KITCHEN, we are going to be talking about S.T.U.F.F. for Every Room in Your House: Get Organized Without Breaking the Bank!

Plastic Bins

You can get plain plastic shoebox-sized bins at Target, Walmart, and Dollar Stores. They are very affordable. I got several sets on clearance from Target for about a dollar! You can group stuff together in them, like hot cocoa, coffee and tea making supplies, eggs in your fridge, or groups of condiments. (Please make sure that bins you use in your fridge are of the sturdier type, and look for straight-sided bins instead of slanted for maximum space.) Imagine pulling out everything you need to make a salad in one or two moves! It makes cleaning less of a chore, because you can move so many things at once! Plus, if you need to totally move something to another location, say you are going to a family barbeque, and are in charge of the condiments, add a jar of relish to your condiment box, and off you go!

Simple Dishpans

Again, these are easy to find anywhere for a tiny price. This is great for someone who doesn't have a lot of drawer space. You can throw your dishtowels down in it under your sink, or fill it with cleaning supplies (if you don't have small children who might get under the sink, in which case you need to be keeping those things up high!). You also have a handy container for household accidents (read flu here!), spills, or leaks. I suggest nesting two of them under your sink, so you can pull off the empty one for emergencies, leaving your supplies, towels, or whatever you store in the dishpan undisturbed!

Purple Rags from www.flylady.net are a MUST have when keeping any sink or surface shiny with minimal effort, and NO cleanser! These rags are 80% polyester and 20% polyamide. They are BETTER than any microfiber cloth out there, and look a ton better than your average "dishrag." To get comparable rags, try your auto parts store, or Walgreens to get some with the same fiber content. They are still better than your regular polyester microfiber cleaning cloths, but come in second to the FlyLady “rags in a bag.” I keep my sink clean, and the mirror in the powder room adjacent to my kitchen shiny WITHOUT cleanser! I can't remember the last time I bought window cleaner or all purpose cleaner. That stuff is for the tub and toilets now, ha ha!

Let me know your thoughts, and there is more to come!

Disconnecting Helps You De-stress

Next week I am teaching in our church's vacation Bible school, and the following week, we have an interactive organizing workshop for busy moms. The week following is my our wedding anniversary, followed quickly by my son's birthday, so I have been pushing the envelope "busyness-wise," and working on advance preparations to prevent last-minute rush.

Today I took a few hours off and just reflected, with coffee in hand of course.  Taskmaster (I've really been called this recently!) that I am, I took ALL my work with me to the coffee shop, determined to make some headway. However, I soon realized my mind was cloudy after a "pedal-to-the-metal" week of work. So, I picked up my planner and started going through my Family Manager categories one by one and highlighting things I had completed. (Each tab in my business notebook corresponds to a department to manage in our home, with top priority things listed on the front page of each departments which can be easily transferred to weekly hit lists to be done when it makes sense.) I kept having to grab my highlighter to mark off completed tasks, some of which had never even made it to my hit lists!

Before sitting down to do this, I was battling thoughts like, "Ugh, I have so much more to do!" "These two busy weeks are closing in on me! I'm not ready! Oh no!" Noting what had already been accomplished, however, banished those thoughts! I spent most of the day off my feet (which is like a day off for a mother of a toddler, right?), and even had a new creative idea!

Disconnecting from both the daily grind and the current upcoming business helped me turn my stress levels way down! All that laser focus was causing strain, but a little rest brought things back in focus! Slow down and look back to see what you HAVE gotten done. See if it helps you "relax!"

What I (Re)Learned from Three Days of Focus

Several friends of mine recommended Lora Jensen's Three Day Potty Training System to me, and since my boy is getting too old to stay in pull-ups, I determined to purchase and follow the system a few weeks ago. I won't go into detail on my son's progress during the three days (after all, he growing up, right?!), but suffice it to say, we were successful. What I do want to share today is WHY I think it worked for me!

I did NOT follow the system "To a T," but got outstanding results, because rather than WISHING or HOPING for the desired outcome, I EXPECTED and PREPARED for a favorable and successful outcome! I bought special craft items for my son and I to work on for the three days, special juice and cookies, and fun stuff that we don't normally do. I informed my husband that I would not be available for daytime adult conversation, and that he could not take long walks with our son. I talked and talked about it, and read and re-read the ebook and instructions. I made clean up tools locations lists, and summarized procedural guidelines for my husband, who had not read the ebook material.

So what did I (re)learn from our three days of focus?

1. You Slow Down. Needless to say, on day one of training, I was a wreck. I wanted everything to be perfect, and was on pins and needles. The "fun stuff" was such a huge hit, though, that my boy hardly noticed! By day two, though, I relaxed and realized that we were really on target with the training.

2. You Accomplish More. My time for other things was severely cut back by my devotion to help my boy make it to the bathroom. When he napped, or right after a potty victory, I found myself being more productive because of my extreme focus.

3. You Think Clearly. It's easy to reflect on your priorities and what's really important when your daily activities are not a bloated list and you are not frantically dashing around "trying" to get stuff done while thinking to yourself that it's impossible!

As a mentor of mine says, "There is a difference between being interested, and being committed." Focus is born of commitment, and is the chief source of results. This is why people using wildly different methods succeed in trimming body fat and becoming more fit! This is why my husband and I were able to get out of debt after being inspired by Dave Ramsey's Baby Step System, even though we didn't follow it religiously! In each case, the focus and commitment is like an internal combustion powerhouse; and the systems, mentors, support, or products used were like the body of  a car, giving determined individuals a place to sit, and accelerator to push, and safety from the elements as they zoom to their desired destination. I like to use "Established Ways" because everyone's idea of successful systems is different, and personal priorities should be the foundation of your personal policies. What are your personal policies/established ways?

Focus Friday: More on Getting Your Family on Board

It has been nearly 30 days since we talked about getting family on board and using  a categorized to-do list. The power of this type of list is that it allows you to focus on grouped tasks. it also highlights for you just how much you handle. If you have six or seven categories of tasks which are necessary to keep your family running, and each category could easily be filled with tasks, and on top of that have a work schedule and appointments, you are quite literally as busy as many project managers! Go here and you will find that most project managers across different industries receive well over $80,000 per year. While I personally believe that a dedicated wife, mom, and family manager has even greater value, this figure may help you gain a fresh perspective on your worth to your family!

That said, your to-do list could easily be completely full every single day of the week, couldn't it? The difference between focus and frazzle is choosing the high-priority and time-sensitive things AND learning to DELETE or DELEGATE things when necessary. Your endurance and motivation will be depleted if you feel you have to get everything done. Does "everything" have to be done at the end of the day anyway? Any mom would agree that "a mother's work is never done," right? So, remind yourself of that if you struggle with being frazzled and frustrated at the end of the day!

So if you feel you are working against the flow and your family and you are not on the same team, consider this:

1. Know your value. When I lived in Asia, I once saw three precious children of a neighbor become disheveled, dejected, and depressed when their mother took a new position working ABROAD for an indefinite period of time. The immediate and unmistakable effect on her children was devastating, especially when the youngest child came to me, pulled on my clothes, and called me mama! That woman's value went beyond the money she left to make, and I know for sure that she certainly wasn't making anywhere near what any project manager makes.

2. Be nice to yourself. Human nature is to "milk the cow," "take a mile when given an inch," and "go with the flow." Learning to create boundaries is important to create a situation in which you can enjoy your family AND yourself. Letting yourself be milked and stretched beyond your capability to cope is not smart. Delegate to your children as soon as possible. My personal growth area here is letting my boy do things himself that I could do faster. I'm not boosting his confidence if I don't give him room to master putting on those shoes, and I certainly am not giving myself less work by jumping in and putting them on for him! It's not going to change in a day, so make it a long-term goal; and start with not taking the poor responses of others personally, but rather as an opportunity to educate and train for correct responses.

3. Know thyself. Don't forget to monitor your OWN responses, as these literally define the atmosphere in your home. That bears repeating: Your responses DEFINE the atmosphere in your home. If you feel you cannot lead by example at any given moment, check for thirst, fatigue, hunger, illness, or other physical needs (read hormones here), and find  a way to fill them to alleviate the stress of the moment. My personal favorite is to get ready for bed and comfortable before my toddler, even if he is a mess, and it's a little past bedtime. When I sink back in the chair with him on my lap and kick open the recliner, he senses my relief and relaxes with me. It beats the "I'm so exhausted, won't you please just go to sleep" scenario! Emotional knots are a bit harder to untangle, but know that there is wisdom in your work, and these are OFTEN rooted in physiological issues, as the ones mentioned above. If you focus on what you CAN change, your churning mind will often quiet. Resist the urge to lash out at anyone, and you will thank yourself later. If something really needs to be addressed, you can address it properly, and not with tears, screaming, or non-communicative and degrading words.

What is the one thing you are taking away from this post? Tell me what you are choosing to do with it, and what happens!